Bagism: Library

In Our Own Write - Chapter 9

In Our Own Write is an interactive story YOU create. But don't worry, you won't have to write the whole thing yourself. You can can contribute as much or as little as you'd like. The idea is to build on whatever was written before, a little at a time. The specifics of the story is completely up to you, but the main theme should have something to do with John Lennon.

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Meanwhile, after paul's traumatic trip to the zoo, he decided to go home to Linda and the Sheep farm. but instead of finding her taking care of the sheep, he found her in bed with some other guy! Paul burst in and proceeded to shoot of the legs of his rival. after that traumatic experience, he ran out of the house, to get very drunk at the Ad Lib Club. As chance would have it, that very same night Yoko had kicked John out because he had gone up and kissed another girl right in front of her! well, anyway, Paul walks into the Discoteque (full of half-dressed girls, i might add) and spots John sitting in the corner looking almost as depressed as he feels. he goes over and sits beside John. "what are you doing here" John asks "I caught Linda in bed with some other guy, man. i can't believe she did that. what about you?" "Yoko kicked me out" they both started crying hysterically "what the hell'd you do?" paul sobbed "shut up and have a drink, i'm so depressed" john said "want a jube jube?" paul asked reaching into his pocket. "candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker" john said "good point" paul replied, and they both got very, very, VERY drunk.they were SO out of their minds they began to...

...think of wild things to do. They decided to go for a drive in Paul's car and hit a few people. Unfortunately, the first person they saw was Ringo crossing the road. They recognized him but it was too late to stop the car. (Continue)

Luckily, at the very moment that John and Paul were about to hit Ringo, he swung his massive nose around and smacked their car into a ditch at the side of the road. "What the fook was that, then?" John asked Paul. "Well, I dunno, let's have a look!" Paul replied. They extracted themselves from the flaming wreckage of what was once a car and saw their friend Ringo walking casually away. "Ay! Ring! What do you think you're doing then? Crashing our car into a ditch like that, eh? You nearly got us killed!" John yelled. "With a trombone hooter like mine, it'd be unnatural if I didn't!" Ringo called back. "Cheeky!" chided John. "Well, what we gonna do now? Our car is wrecked." wondered Paul. "Why don't we do it in the road?" John asked, with a devilish grin...
"No way John" said Paul. I am married. Just then Sgt.Pepper and his Lonely Hearts Club Band came out of a bush. They were all drunk and started to release Beavers at John! "what tha ell is goin' on ah" he said. Then the Beavers jumped on him and Paul ran off and let him get eatin' "maybe this way i will get more credt" he thought. But soon as he said this the Man on The Flaming Pie came out and told the beavers that they were all gay...but Sgt.Pepper took out his revolver and shot him but the question The Beatles wanted to know..was did it hit him?????(continue),

yes, the man in the flaming pie got shot. Paul's eyes snapped open. it was pitch dark. as his eyes adjusted, he could make out a faint figure standing over him in his bed. "who is it?" he asked then a strange voice said "it's..... (CONTINUE!!!)

George!!!!!!!! He came back from wherever he was and said

" I am the ghost of the great huini. Im gonna hit your nose and eat your weenie." Paul said, "Only Linda can do that!!" George answered himby saying....

You idiots!! Don't you know what really happened? Well, back to the car... The car slammed into Ringo and screeched to a stop. John and Paul quickly sobered up then jumped out of the car. It was raining which made it worse as they lifted Ringo's bloody body. They got back in the car and drove off quickly to the nearest hospital. Now there were two parts to this hospital, intensive care and extensive billing. Ringo was immediatly taken into emergency surgery. John and Paul were ecorted to the room were Ringo was to be taken after the surgery. Three hours later, Ringo was brought in on a stretcher and put in the bed. John and Paul were told that Ringo had been severly injured and he wouldn't be fully recovered for three years. John and Paul were extremely guilty but they could not take back what they had done.

Later that night, George arrived with his friend Ravi Shankar at the hospital. "Hey Guys!", he said, "Don´t make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better." And, so they sat for a while, singing a healing song that George had heard in India. After a while John exclaimed: "Shut up! I thought I heard something." George got into "Something in the way she wooooos meeee...." "I said SHUT UP! There´s someone at the door". Now, the whole party looked intensely at the door. Suddenly it swings open and a large nose in bandage become visible...

John and Paul were so sad about what they did. They went to visit Ringo in the hospital. George was just about to leave but he stopped when he saw John and Paul. "We're really really really sorry about what we did Ringo, is there any way we can make it up to you?" But Ringo didn't hear cause he fell asleep. John, and Paul wanted so dearly to say they were sorry that they wrote a song right then and there. When Ringo finally awoke John, Paul and George were all there. They began to sing their song. Ringo was so happy that he was immediately cured! The Fab Four were so happy they celebrated and rejoiced by throwing a huge party with all the coolest people there. But the horrble Clang the Hight Priest crashed the party and he and his men planned to wreck the party and steal all of Ringo's Rings! (since Ringo's life source was his rings, the Beatles wouldn't be able to perform anymore if he was dead). The Beatles knew their party would be ruined unless they did something, so suddenly with a flash of lightening, a clash of thunder the Beatles you know and love turn into... The Super Beatles Heroes!! John with his army of Mr. Kite's circus, Paul with his power to fix and hole, George with his magical mystical Indian powers, and Ringo with his Super Drumsticks able to pound anybody, the Super Beatles Heroes were UNSTOPABLE!!!

John Lennon sat at his piano at home with a new tune. Da-da-da-la-la-da-la-dava-da-da-da-da-da. "Well, let's see. What can I come up with." "Whispers in the morning, of lovers sleeping tight. Rolling off like thunder now. As I look into your eyes." All of a sudden, Celine Dion comes out of the wall and screams, "You will not write your SUPID song using MY #1 future hit." John looked at her and smiled, "Look its 1965, and you don't become famous until 1986, so why fuss. Celine looks at John with the MEAT CLEAVER but Beaver Cleaver comes in and takes MEAT and Celine out for a date. As this goes on, Ringo enters the room, and John tells him of his dilema. "I have a great tune here, but I can not find words for it." Ringo listened to the new tune and said, "Play it, I got words." -- "Cochroaches. The pretty little bugs. Crawling in the dirt, and eating other bugs. Ah, those little Cochrocaches. Living for today. Oh, little little little Cochroaches. Smellowing in the dirt. Pretending to eat some worms, while they are---" John screams, "STOP! STOP! STOP! That sucks, sucks, sucks. I do like the living for today line though." As Ringo cries out of the room, Paul enters and gives John some input, and John asks for Pauls help on the song. Paul started to sing, "If you were young, and your heart was an open book." John yelled, "DAMN! Another one of your shitting songs. If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't sell shit. George comes in with a song, "Immagige I am love, while they treat you like dog. -- John laughs, Immagine? Uhmmmmmmmm!

John and Paul decide to go for a short walk and they meet Linda and Yoko, who are both VERY sorry for making them leave. So they all walk together until a man who looks rather like a crazed pig jumps out at them and pulls out a gun. Yoko knows who he is this time, though and is TERRIBLY angry with him. She gives one of her famous shreiks, which makes Paul and Linda hold their ears and wince. It was worse for they piggy-man, espescially after John got the idea and joined in. Suddenly Yoko tackled him and took his gun. Paul aqnd John were about to fetch the police, but the Magical Mystery Wizards came before they could step away. They tuned the piggy-man into a pig, who was still wearing his suit. John and Paul looked at each other and yelled "Have you seen the little piggies in their starched white shirts?" and high-fived each other, for they had been looking for that line. BUT THEN...........

A big monkey named bob jumped up and ate a poisen rat and died

George kissed Nicole2

Then they John, Paul, and Ringo remembered that it was George's birthday! (and it really is) They thought that it would be a great idea to throw him a party, and they had to to it quick because George was beginning to think that no one remembered his birthday. (all yours)

The party had just begun when producer George Martin turned up with a policeman. "OK man, this is getting out of hand! I want you back in the studio in one hour. It´s time to make another Beatles record!" "OH NO!", said John, "I want to become Jesus and save the World." "I want to sing out of key", said Ringo. "Hare Krishna", said George H. The only happy Beatle was Paul who could continue to write cheap lovesongs...

Because he couldn't think of anything better to do. John went off and saved the world from

John decided to save the world from what was diagnosed as being chronic anal rentive syndrome and intermittent episodes of dandruff. John hated dandruff. He hated the flakes.

yeah, well John thought he was saving the world from dandruff, but he was really just sprinkling salt all over Lindas hair. They decided that George Martin was just stupid, and that they would continue with Georges Birthday Party. so John, Yoko, Ringo, Maureen, Paul, Linda and Pattie and (ofcourse) George, were all stoned out of their minds, sitting in Georges livingroom eating dairy queen icecream birthday cake (YUMMY!) when John had a wierd mhallucination, abd starting putting salt in lindas hair. She looked up from where she was sitting with Paul and said "WHAT the hell are ya doing John?" john was soooo stoned he forgot how much he hated Linda and totally french kissed her right in front of Paul. well, you can imagine what Paul did... (continue...)

Let's not talk about what Paul did because he is a dumbass and doesn't know anything. So let's move on to a lighter subject

...John snapped back to reality and before Paul could do anything, he beat the living daylights out of him. Paul was on the floor whimpering and pleading for John's forgivness and John said sure because he was the best.

yeah, john was the best, but so was paul, so he grabbed john's underwear and gave him an unmerciful wedgie until John apologized and grovelled at his feet. linda was off... (CONTINUE!!!!) giving George's wife ( NICOLE2), Yoko, and Maureen wedgies.

After they had recovered from the awful torment of the wedgies, they all decided to go to a poetry reading at the nearest cafe (without their wives and girlfriends, might I add.) When they got there, they took the free berets handed out at the front door, and sat down near the front. So they sat and chilled with the cool cats until the host asked if anyone wanted to come up to the stage and recite one of their poems. George raised his hand and shouted: "Ooooh! Me me me me me me!!!!" and got up on stage.......

And said: “What is your hair-sytle called ? ” Anbd George answered: "Arthur!", then suddenly came John with his hair, a six-pack of glasses, and said "WAR IS OVER! if you want it." which of course stuned all the audience and suddenl he awoke , lokked out his window and saw the the bird-pole was still there so peace was still a possible chance, and said "hello" to Yoko.. That's when George dicided to make a song on john called "Fab" and yoko is still waiting for the "White Feather"...

Yes, indeed, John had awakened in the 80s. The late 80s. He decided to go for a walk, where he ran into a young man with a Beatle haircut and collarless suit. John felt better--perhaps things hadn't changed so much. "Who are you?" John asks. "I'm Marilyn Manson!" exclaims the young man. "I have decided to shock the world in ways previously thought impossible! Who cares about Oasis? Marilyn Manson is the next Beatles!" Shaking his head vigorously, John realizes his stroll had taken him right into the nineties. He decided to sit down before he got any older. "Hey, John, long time no see!" called the voice of none other than . . .

Lauren!! "What are you doing here?? Are you all right??" she asked him. John shook his head. "Something weird's going on here." he said. He started walking down the street until he came to a Burger King. He realized he was hungry so he sat down and ate a Whopper.

The little boy he had stolen the whopper from started crying. John told him to be quiet, he was remembering a song. "Cry baby cry....burger KING, the KING of Marigold..." he started musing.

But it got so noisy in there that he decided to leave. He decided to go to McDonalds instead, he was still hungry.

He had a nice juicy Big Mac with large fries. He threw that back up and just decided on a coke.

John left MacDonalds, unsatisfied by the coke. In search for another fast food place he came across a gigantic house that had a small amusenment park. Little boys were running everywhere. " Hmmm...why the bloody hell is there only boys?" John thought. Then a figure came out of the house. It was a very pale skinned creature, who had curly black hair. It looked quite like a woman, but yet seemed to ugly to be one. John stood staring at the thing. " Are you John Lennon?" The body asked. Its voice was very high and whispery. John knew it had to be a woman, just a very ugly one. " It depends who wants know?" John gave a cocky laugh. The figure moved towards him. " Hello, I am the talentless Michael Jackson" John gasped. Magically the other Beatles appeared beside him at that very moment, armed for battle. " John catch!" cried Paul as he passed John a sword. " Ungard!!" the fab four viciously shouted together. Michael bit his nails. " What's a boy to do?" he began to cry....

ANYWHO, the four of them begin walking down penny lane. Marilyn Manson appears, STILL pissed off from chapter 7. "I will do you in for good this time!" sneers Manson. "what do we do?" asks John.

Suddenly, the sound of an AIRSHIP comes. I'ts the Beatles' King friend, King Glenn of Guardia! "need help??" asks Glenn. "VERY!" yells John. Glenn lands next to Manson, and pulls out his sword, the Mighty MASAMUNE! "MANSON!" "WHAT?" "YOU WILL DIE!" Glenn charges Manson with the sword, cutting him in two. "thankyou! "Your welcome!" The Beatles get into the ship and fly off on the Magical Mystery tour.

John looked deeply into the eyes of Marilyn Manson. He then noticed something familiar about her nose. Quickley he tore her dress off and was surprised to see that she had something resembling the "peter" of the typical male anatomy. Also, John was surprised that this "peter" had a beatle tattoo covering the entire length of this "part." John noticed that the "peter" looked familiar. He looked deeply into Marilyn's eyes. John Said, "Who are you, rather what are you?" Marilyn replied, "it's me John. It's Peter." "Peter!" "Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! It's me. Pete Best!

Then he took 4 ribs out of his pocket and gave himself head.

suddenly, John and Paul found how stupid was becoming the they decided to add some peppers to our soup! John went with his best friend to Liverpool and begin there a long trip around the world... somewhere in Australia they both found a nice and cute lady. So they were very happy and satisfied when suddenly the phone ring... it was Linda who was wondering about what had happen to her husband! she cried and shout and Paul finally decided that maybe the trip was not a great idea...they trow out the girl and decided to search for fun somewhere else...(with Linda!) John had no problem with Yoko because she was actually with another men...(a guy name Sam...) and anyway he had let her with all his money so she was satisfied too. (each people have not the same need!) ANYWAY John decided to follow his FRIEND everywhere...

john was very sad about yoko. "i need a fix" he said to mother superior who was quietly jumping the gun. "no you don't" said paul "none of that, we have work to do." john told paul he was "soft" but paul had heard that before. "let's go back and get em, eh?" said john sheepishly. "no" said paul. "i know exactly what we're going to do. We're going to get our songs back from micheal jackson, and here's how..."

"We'll trick him!" "How?" Asked John. "Ummm... um...." Said Paul, confused. "Yeah, I should've known you didn't have a plan." "Alright, smartass, what do you suggest?" "We'll write really awful songs, tell Michael that they're sure #1's, and give him those songs in exchange for the real ones." No one could think of a better idea, so they set to work...

As the lads began to write the really crummy songs, they discovered that they just could not do it. Even Magical Mystery Tour had had fun songs in it. So Paul grabbed the tele and rang up Oasis. "Oh Beatle-wannabes," cooed Paul, still the cute one after all this time, "we Beatles would love it ever so much if you would write a song for us and we'd sing it with you." Oasis was thrilled and began right away on the crappy songs. The other Fabs merely laughed hysterically. John found special delight in tricking the wannabes.

The silly wannabes fell for it, hook line and sinker. The horrible songs were recorded and then as Oasis waited to get the autographs of the Beatles, George Martin sneaked up from behind and whacked them over the their heads. CRASH! they fell to the floor and were neatly drug off and hid in a closet. John grabbed up the newly written horrors and shoved them at Paul. "Here! You are more adept at running, seeing that women chase you constantly. Take these to Micheal now!" Paul did as he was told and dashed out the door. As he dashed down the street, he ran into none other than Yoko. Yoko politely inquired as to what Paul was in such a hurry about and Paul, still slightly drunk from his last meeting with alcohol, showed her the truly awful songs. Yoko smiled one of her odd little smiles and said she'd like to help. From the pocket of her psychedelic raincoat, she produced three songs, all of the terrible and based on primal scream. Sensing that these songs would be just the perfect additions to dupe Micheal, he snatched them up, mumbled thanks, and completed his task by dropping the songs off at Micheal's.

michael didn't notice that the package containing the horrible songs was delivered and placed on the kichen table. Micheal was busy playing with

his Star Wars action figures. He looked up as Paul entered the room. "More songs for me to buy from you Paulie? Hmmm?" Michael asked. "Oh, what? Oh, yeah." mumbled Paul, forgetting exactly what he was doing. "Yeah, ah, buy these songs. They're excellent, really, John wrote them. Yeah." "Oh, well that's just super." Michael said with a girlish giggle. "I'll give you twenty billion for all of them."

Suddenly, Blender appeared out of nowhere. "Now where have you been, you ungrateful appliance?" Ringo demanded, looking at him angrily. Blender sneered at him (how this was possible, I have no idea, but Blender somehow managed to accomplish the feat) "I have been out trying to find my destiny," Blender informed him haughtily. John rolled his eyes. "Tell it to mix me a dacquri, Ringo." "I'M RIGHT HERE!!!" Blender screamed. "I can HEAR you PERFECTLY fine!" "Were those capital letters REALLY neccessary?" John demanded. "Shut up," Blender said. Just then, a train 32,000 miles away de-railed itself and came flying into the room where the Beatles were. No one was seriously injured, but John was killed by a passing train wheel. Conveniently dead, John got up and rubbed his bruised forehead. "That hurt," he commented. Blender immediately turned himself on frappé. A loud hum filled the air... --Kat

There was time when two silly brothers, called Lian and Noel, decided to make a band. It made a heavy sucess, and it was called The Oasis. Of course, for all the beatle-fans, it sounded like, how can I say it without crude words, let me think...Yesterday Once More? Yea, quite right.... Because they did not have a good song, they got "IMAGINE"and wrote all again, calling it DON'T LOOK BACK IN ANGER. But there was someone looking back with a lot of it. Not only one, but FOUR! Inside the sleeve of "Abbey Road", Liam's favorite album, three beatles were with their hands at the ears ( Ringo, you remember, is a little bit deaf - problems of being a drummer!) " For God's sake! - shouted George - It sounds horrible, doesn't ?" "Terrible", said John and Paul at the same time. " what can we do to save our ears? this guy has a sissy voice!", said George again. "Paul also have and you never complained" John said "Hey!" Paul protested. "Yea, I know...But Paul do not sing "She's Eletric", does he?" He was right.. something had to be done. And so, in the middle of the night, with a little help of Ringo... ( CONTINUE! )

The killer Beaver from the practice page came out of a cookie bush ( THE MISSIN' OASIS - PART 2 ) Lian had a terrible nightmare. Next day, he supposed to see his brother, but he was not there. And, how strange, there are five beatles in the sleeve of "Abbey Road"...HEY! HAVE I SAID FIVE????? Yea, FIVE! Four beatles, histeracly laughin', and one Noel Gallghan, all tied and shouting for HELP! "What are you doing here, Noel?" "I don't Know! they brought me here for nothing!" "It wasn't for nothing!"replied John, veeery angry. "we'll teach music to your brother. So he won't have to copy things anymore" Liam looked puzzled. "jesus, and what am I going to say to the pres, if then ask me WHERE ARE MY BROTHER?" Paul, John and George started to laugh, and Ringo said twhat the four were thinking "Say to then that THE REAL FAB FOUR took him to a Magical Mistery Tour. unless you get away from everybody's life...he do not return! ( WAIT! "THE MISSING OASIS" STILL GOES ON! )

(MISSIN' OASIS PART THREE - AND UNLESS ANOTHER COMMENTS, IT'S THE LAST ONE ) Liam asked how to get to the sleeve. He could not leave his brother on his own ( even if the" own" were his idols that he dreamed he dreamed his whole life to meet. ) "Play the album backyards"said Paul, his a very known smile.And so laim did it, and lots of looking glasses and voices of undieing love came to appear...there was lots of things, psycodelics stuff, and a girl wearing white witrh lots of diamonds came to take him. "My name's Lucy O'Connors, Gallagher.But you can call me Lucy in the sky . I'll take you to your brother" and so, with a close-and-open of his eyes, he was at Abbey Road. The Beatles were sat down in the middle of the road, and Noel was yet all tied. I don't want to fright the Oasis' fans, but by the face of the four, he didn't behave well ! "Welcome, Liam"said George "now, take your brother from here. He do not deserve our attention!" "He is right. he does not deserve our music! If were at another times I would send to to Hamburg, to feel how is to play music under pressure!" shouted John, doing a sign to the woman in white "Lucy, take then back. And make then lose the few knowing of music they have." Noel and Liam were sent back to their house, with a nooze. Was it JUST A DREAM? No,it was not. Paul met then again, a long time after it. he just said "Your end time will come soon", scaring the brothers and his band. the bass player were right: never more we heard a line from the Five from Manchester. And, somewhere in time, in '69, the Fab Four were laughin', under the blessing of Lucy in the Sky! ( THE END OF "MISSIN'OASIS"WRITTEN BY ANNA GO-WITH-HIM )

After the very happening Oasis experience, the Fabs decided to break into their separate ways and go for lunch. John schlepped off to Hardees, George went home, Ringo decided on Domino's pizza, but Paul was still bummed about Linda being with another man and had no appetite, so he went for a walk down Penny Lane. He was just wandering along when somebody called him, he answered quite slowly, The Girl With Kaleidoscope Eyes. "Eh," said Paul, "You're John's song character!" She laughed. "Yes Paul I am, but later on I came in through the bathroom window" The conversation continued on for a long while and when it was over, Paul felt much better. He told her so. "Thanks, girl with Kaleidoscope eyes!" "No problem Paul. But my name is McGill, I call myself Lil, but everyone knows me as Lucy." And with a kiss, Lucy dissappeared. Back at Micheal's, it had become known that the songs were garbage. Micheal was fit to be tied, so he immediately called John.

There was a time at Liverpool, and there was four beatles with their wifes, dogs and sitars, and there was a lady with eyes of green called Anna Go-To-Him who used to walk in the Strawberry Fields, searching for the love that's gone so cold over there. One day, strangly, he was not there. Instead, there was a man with black eyes and monkey face. "Let me pass, sir. I search for the love that's gone so cold." she said, but the man moved his head saying no. "Your name, sir?", asked Anna once more. He said " I am the man who were tied and cursed. Say to your silly friends that Strawberry Fields won't be here anymore!Me and the meanies will blow it off !" Anna got scared and ran to Penny Lane, where Ringo were working in a hairdresser's saloon. "Ringo, Ringo, help me if you will! There's a man with a monkey face at the Strawbery Fields and he wants to destroy it! " Ringo looked puzzled, but he understood all the words, and ran with Anna ( with a pair of scissors in his hand ), to the Cavern, where John was. "John, John, help me if you will!"and she repeated all the phrase above. And John got his guitar and ran to the Liverpool Hall, where Paul was, playing the piano: "Paul, Paul, help me if you will!" and she said it all again. Paul got his wife and a french horn and ran with the friends back to Penny Lane, where George were selling poppies from the tray. "George, George, help me if you will!" and she repeated everything. And the four Beatles, Anna Go-To-Him, and a wife ran to save Strawberry fields. will they win? ( THE BATTLE OF STRAWBERRY FIELDS still goes on! WAIT! )

( And the Battle? Here's the second part) But four Beatles, one Anna Go-To-Him and one wife ( called Linda ) could not help at all. There were too many Meanis! John said it, and Anna stated to cry "It is not you who has a love there, in the hands of that Blue Meanies! " "Don't cry, my dear. There's a chance that we may fall apart before too long", said Paul. "Oh, Paul, shut up and think! There must be an answer!". "Let it be? "Said George laughing. "The song says "there WILL be an answer, blockhead! THINK!" shouted Paul, angryly. And they stared at the middle of the street, thinking. Suddenly, the sky opened in a hole, and a girl of white came to see. "Lucy in the sky with diamonds! "shouted John, as she smiled. She gave then a glass, full of sweets. Her eyes of kaleidoscope were shining. "Each of you eat one, and imagine a person. It will come to help you in the battle of the Stawberry Fields", and with that Lucy disapeared. Anna Go-To-Him took the first, a chocolate sweet. "Is it safe?" said Linda, looking to the glass. "in the situation that I am, nothing is real..." and she ate the sweet. And a woman dressesd in black came to her. "Baby's In Black!" said George, smiling. "In flesh and blood", she said "'You called me, Anna, and I came. I am ready to fight" Paul took another sweet. He looked to everyone before he ate it. and from he sky, a very peculiar person came... ( THE BATTLE OF STRAWBERRY FILEDS still goes on! hold on a minute! )

( Third part O THE BATTLE OF... ) As I was saying, from the sky came a very peculiar person. John loooked and strated to laugh "Why did you think of Maxwell and his silver hammer?". But it was too late to anger. it was George's time. He took a sweet from the glass, and ate it And so... (it still continue! Wait for new informations )

And as George ate his sweet, he suddenly realized that the story was beginning to suck. So, he thought of the only person who could change it . . . the paperback writer! The writer appeared before them with a guinea pig on his head and started sucking up to his publisher, and so the fabs kicked him in the head and stole his guinea pig. He ran away crying. "This is all your fault" said John, throwing a beaver at George. George stuck his tongue out at John and threw a monkey at him but John ducked and it hit Paul in the bakc of the head. Paul shrieked and hurled it back. The poor monkey, whose name was bob, grew tired of all of this flying, became airsick, and ralphed on Ringo, who up to this point was laughing at the complete immaturity of the rest of his buddies. Now, as he was covered in monkey puke, John, George, and paul screamed with laughter and walked off. Ringo jumped into the sea of green and changed his clothes and soon caught up to them. Now, Yoko (who is really a blue meanie in disguise) has taken up emu ranching and rides her favorite emu, Comet, over to where the boys are standing and...

Okay, quite frankly, I'm getting sick of ALL OF YOU, that make it your job to BASH oasis..Now come on and GROW UP, because I'm getting sick of it....I dont bash what you like, so dont bash what us Oasis fans like.......Said Red Rose Speedway, and all of the other Oasis fans from Bagsim chat..

...before red rose speedway so rudely interrupted, got thrown off her emu because she wasn't his favorite. Comet then ate the paperback-writers guinea pig and coughed it up (it's fur was rather matted by then) on ringo, who, unfortunately, was on the receiving end of a lot of gross things. Ringo stood up said he'd had enough, andtold paul to stop laughing then they all

And they fighted and they fighted and they fighted and they fighted...and they also fighted a lot between then. After a long time of fighting, they realized that all the girls have left then, going to fight on their own in the Strawberry Fields. The glass of sweets were with Ringo, now. "You'd better think in someone who can REALLY help us."said John, with a hand on his neck "The girls left us talking to the walls, and, anyway, that's field too. and if you don't, I AM SORRY FOR YOUR NECK! " Ringo ate the sweet, and a thunder came to the land. Ringo was so scared that he called for the help of Krishna, George's hero! "To the Strawberry Fields?" Paul shouted. And so they start to walk to the park, following Anna Go-To-Him ( who was searching the love that's gone so cold that in fact it's Dhani Harrison ), Baby's in Black, Linda and Paperback Writer, who was crying yet. Poor old shame! Meanwhile back, in the Strawberry Fields, The Man-Who-Were-Tied-And-Cursed was making his plan to blow the Field, with Yoko-Blue-Meanie at his side. "When they come, it's going to be a LOVELY WAR, don't you think so, Yoko, my dear?" And Yoko agreed.

But just then, having overheard the last line spoken by John, a band of angry protestors in really messed-up seventies retro stuff stampeded over the lovely little forest. They had big, ugly, synthetic signs that read "WAR SUCKS" and things to that effect. John sighed and counted to ten. "not these losers again" he mumbled. And paul, as always, gave the magnificent yet obvious phrase: "run"!!!!!

And they runned for their lifes, becuase they are as brave as intelligent. But a hole coming from nowhere appeared in front of then. "You'd beter jump!"a voice shouted. And so they did. It was Lucy in the sky, again. "" John, I am tired of save your life all time." she said, and she sighed. "OK, I gonna take to where the women are. but please, say you won't put yourself in troubles again". "We can't promisse, Lucy" he said. She sighed again, and clappped his hands. And the four beatles were in front of their ladies, and teher was mmore one with then. "I am the Parachute woman"she said. "You are a song of the Stones! What the hell you are doing here?"said Lucy in the sky. "i am lost! could you take me back home? " Lucy in the sky zapped her right between the eyes, and Parachute Woman disapeared. "Alright, sonnies, where were you all this time?", said Linda. Nobody said, but it was unecessary. in the Strawberry Fields, Yoko-Blue-Meanie looked thru a glass onion. "Mister! They are coming!" she shouted to the Man-Who-Were-Tied-And-Cursed. And he sent Red Rose Speedway to get then, before they arrived to the Strawberry Fields.

Maj rounded up her little fuzzy sidekicks and ran to catch up with the rest for she was feeling a little bit neglected. She looked to the next writer, who was just appearing on the horizon, to introduce her again.

So anyway as I was saying the giant liver came and devoured rocky rackoon. This later led to John's work of 'mother' for his mother had once said,"Got any gum." And so it was that John defeated the evil of Thoth Amon! But what will he do next? Conquer other foes? Seek his fortune? Search for treasure in distant lands.....All these adventures and more are in John's future but at last that is another tale.

"Tthis situation is gettin'absurd enough to me"said Ringo out lod "what the bloody hell the writers of the story are thinking of?" "I don't know"said George, looking up "It's going to rain! Wonderwall..." "The word isn`t wonderful, George?" asked Anna Go-To-Him, with her mind set on Dhani, the love that's gone so cold. George didn't answer. Red Rose Speedway, sat on a bash, looked to the commitive passing by, in the direction of the Strawberry Fields ( man, how it was far away! ). And he shouted: "Hey, silly Beatles! Sissy Lennon, look behind! You never will find your way to where nothing is real, bastard! Ëverybody looked behind, as john strated to get red and red and red. A fight was about to start...

One day when the Fab Four were walking in the woods, John suddenly came up with an idea. "Let´s change the name of the group so they won´t recognise our next album." The other three stopped and stared at him. "What are you talking about.. We won´t get any money that way! And I need money... and chicks huh huh huh!", said Paul. Ringo and George had a different opinion and thought it was a great idea. They all began to suggest a variety of new names, such as.. Dr. Mustards Inner Light Band. Eleanor Shears helping friends and sun kings. Drive my Polythene Submarine. Mean mr Pams Strawberry diamonds...

I got this baseball stuck in my butt. Somebody threw it at me--i think it was the coach.

I got the ball out....where was i? Oh yeh. So john was walking around and he saw a tree that said," Plese dont (expletive delted)on this tree"....
The dog was enourmous(spelled wrong)."WHO THE HECK ARE YOU!"sohuted a furious John Lennon after being attacked by a swarm of COME PLAY WITH US DANNY FOREVER AND EVR AND EVER----STOP IT TONY YOUR SCARING ME



( Back to the BATTLE OF STRAWBERRY FIELDS,where John were called a sissy and a bastard by the servent of The-Man-Who-Were-Tie-And-Cursed -read it Noel - called Red Rose speedway. Nobody could help him...NOBODY? ) someone came behind Red Rose Speedway and said a simple phrase; "The word is love". And Red Rose Speedway disapeared in the wind. it was...YOKO! "i am sorry i betrayned you, Johnny, my love. I was forced to do it...plase, forgive me.."she started to say. everybody looked to her with a strange eye. Yoko Ono never would break her backto anyone. If the one is John "John, don't get close! She's a Meanie!" Anna Go-To-Him shouted. But it was too late. John had embraced her, and he fell on the ground, as green as a green apple. Paul, always the Cute and Emtional one, atrted to cry. all the others did the same . The end of the story? I would not say that if i were you ( CONTINUE! )




"Well, they use to say that Paul was dead, but in this case, the thing went out of hand... Lucy in the Sky, where are you when we need you ? "shouted Linda at the feet of the best friend of her husband. And a sound of thing breaking came thru the wood...the glass with the sweets! there was more one inside it! " Linda, you forgot yours here. Take it, and wish john to wake up again. We are so close from the Fiield, we can't lose him now". And so Linda did. And a blackbird came thru the woods in the hands of Lucy in the Sky. strange, the brid had the voice of John! "if you win the battle he'll return to what he is"she said, once more disapearing. "well, John, how's to be free as a bird?" asked Ringo "Certanly better than live with a nose like yours. To the Strawberry Fields! "

is it something i said?

seriously-----on the album cover of abbey ropad paul is barefooted---therefore a corpse and therefore dead----the liscense plate says 26 if ----meaning he would be 26 if he had died

when they got to the strawberry fields, john was sad----he had lost his life. There was only one thing to do----play with his dog----he played frisby and catch---it was very emotional a seen thet brought the true love in the dogs heart----strawberry fields i will never return---quothe john lennon

your not talking to me!!!


Hey!! How did that f get in the story? So then The Fab Four took of to Bulgaria to find the answer, When they reached there the great man with no clothes came up and said(continue)....

"I'm not wearing any pants." He ran around and flopped about for the rest of his days as a naked man in the forest. Then an old wise clothed man came up and told them to go into the forest and find the answer to their inquries. They entered into the norwegion wood. They walked for days and almost got eaten by a mean bunch of old women. Ringo stopped them with his magical ring from "HELP". Once Ringo blew his nose. They walked even deeped into the woods now. "I think I have the answer" said John. "What is it?" asked the guy from F.R.E.I.E.N.D.S.(Chanler or Joey, I'm not sure which one). "Who the hell is he" said John. Then they decided to find the answer. It was inscribed in a tree. It said ..(CONTINUE)...

"He is the guy from FREINDS Stupid!" Then John said" Not that great mystery you stupid tree!" In a fit of anger John lit the tree on fire. Then he started kicking it. Paul and George caught on fire. They were wearing very flammable materiels. John and Ringo cut down the tree because it burned their friends. Now back to the mystery of the f. On a smarter tree they found the real answer. The f is there because that's the way it should be. We all have a purpose in life. The f's purpose in life is just to exist. Johns foot is broke from kicking the tree, Paul and George are still on fire (???), and Ringo has a big nose. What will happen to theese brave men? Only you can decide.

good night

Then George said, "This is too confusing! How can we be doing so many things at one time?" "We can't!" said Paul. And thus they ended up back in London where they could start something new...

such as spin around in circles until they vomit! WHEEEEEE!

"The battle never happened" said John, shaking his head, as he discovered himself at Cavendish Roadat Paul's house, still full of feathers."Free as a brid... My Lord, what a nightmare! ". "Strange I have got the same dream. One that you lit fire on a tree, and we were all going to somewhere to fight in the Strawberry Fields? it never happened...Talking about it, have you seen George?" , said Ringo, looking to the floor. Somewhere in the space and in the time ( the narrator won't be crazy of tell you where ) George was hidden. If you get the clue, it was not a nightmare. They were really at Liverpool, the battle really happened and The-Man-Who-Were-Tied-And-Cursed really existed...and he was there with George."Will you take off the curse, man? Or yout friends will have to get you here?", he said, yet with his monkey's face, and carrying the ashes of his devoted servent, Red Rose Speedway. George didn't open the mouth. Yoko-Blue-Meanie looked to him with her japanese betrayner eyes. "And you, viper? How could betrayn John?" George said. Yoko did not said a word. It was unecessary. ( The story still goes on... WAIT FOR MORE ) ( IF YOU WAITED, HERE IS YOUR REWARD ) And they looked behind the chairs, and at ceiling, under the carpets and under all the windows of the house of Cavendish Road. Nothing. George was not there at all. The three restant beatles sat down at the floor and strat to chat: Paul : Well, what do we do now? Ringo ( scraching his nose ) : we become a three-piece band? John : We call Eric Clapton? Paul: My lord, don't be idiot John. We have to find him. Ringo : Oh no, not again, sonny! Just to find you at chapter 5 were a real batlle. I don'want to spoil the party, but I am OFF! John : Ringo, are you a man or a rat? Ringo : Both things! Paul: Listen, John, forget him while you can. Is tehre someone we could call for help? John: I don't know. What about shout for Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds. She's always there for us. Ringo: It sounds incredably silly. John: Shut up! And they did not came to any conclusion at al. By this time,The-Man-Who-Were-Tied-And-Cursed were taking George to America. He was going to kill him far away from the British Islands. If there's a thing to be done... but, who would help then? ( CONTINUE )

Who would help then? A sweet for who discovers it... A hole in the middle of the living room came along. "Oh, no", said Paul "another hole to be fixed". Inside of it, Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds came to then "As I can see, you are all in trouble again. Listen carefully, because the truth come only once. George is going to be murdered at top of a theater at New York. there's a yellow submarine waiting at the Thames, to take you away. Get it, and run to save his life." And with that, she disaperaed, leaving the hole in the roof ( for Pau's anger ). And they ran to the Thames, where in fact there was a submarine waiting for the Rutles. But it was too late. The stole the submarine and shiped to N.Y., where Noel, The-Man(...) , was shopping with Yoko and the ashes of Red Rose Speedway while George was locked in a hotel room, without a way to get out. (IT STILL GOES ON! WAIT FOR MORE INFORMATION)

And they got into the Hudson river, with the yellow submarine. +++++++BACK TO THE- MAN-WHO-WERE-TIED-AND-CURSED, YOKO-BLUE-MEANIE, THE ASHES OF RED ROSE SPEEDWAY AND THEIR PRISIONER, GEORGE +++++++++ "yoko, my dear, can you see something in your glass onion?", asked The Man as her servant were looking. "Yes, master, I can. The three friends of our prisioner are coming to take him back". "Wonderful! just like i was planning!" said him. George started to cry. Poor of him! John, Paul and Ringo 'd be in a lot of troubles because of him! it was no fair...If he could get out before he were sent to the theater top...but HOW? ( CONTINUE)

Marilyn Manson and Billy Corgan were there. Manson says "why don't we do it in the road, Corgan replies "Eh?? No!.". Then an 80 ft John Lennon popps out of nowhere and says "What have you done, you made a fool of everyone." Then Billy Corgan flies in a zeppelin and says "Who did you expect Lucy in The sky?" Then D'arcy flies by wearing a diamond kimono. Then John says"There she is!", Billy says "That's D'arcy in the sky with diamonds". Then D'arcy sprinkled diamonds into John's hair. Then John gets shrnk to about 5'11 which is his normal height. Then Marilyn Manson is there and John says "My god ..Why is it that?.....We always bump into eachother?." Manson says "What the f***! If it isn't the Eggman himself!" "I know I know" replied John. "So you are the guy who is scary?" "What do you think?" says manson (pulling his hair up) "I've always admired the different in society" said John. "Why do you think I wrote Imagine??" "I've always had a thing against Christianity what is your stand on it?" says Manson, "I never really showed anything against Christians, but that religion gets in the way of peace and love and I do not stand for war." Then Manson, Corgan and Lennon produce an album called "Give Peace a Bloody Smashing Chance". It becomes a #1 seller. Yoko writes a song on it called "The scary bald-headed granny glasses blues" which never becomes a single but the kids think it is funny. The #1 hits on it are " Yer Pumpkins", "Sadist Sadie" and everyone's favorite, "The Imaginary Beautiful Smashing Karma".They plan a tour, but Yoko didn't like the way Manson looked in a dress. Then Oasis gets angry and smashes Liam's white piano with white axes because it looks like John's and they ban don't look back in anger, just in case John looks back in anger.Then Ringo writes an album with Oasis and they write a the hit single "Supersonic Octopuses' Nova Passing Me By". Then the BBC bans it because it is silly. Then Prodigy and Paul write a hit single called "Raccoon Starter".Then George says about the new albums "I'm not doing this it's getting monotonous!"

"SEE HOW THEY FLY, LIKE LUCY IN THE SKY! AND SEE THAT AFTER ALL THIS WONDERWALL CONFUSION, GEORGE STILL ARRESTED IN THE HOTEL ROOM! " shouted Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds to all the people in the street.Corgan liked that lady ten feet high, with all the diamonds and the kaleidoscope eyes. D'Arcy looked puzzled: "Could you tell us the way, madam?" And Lucy shouted more aloud than the other time: "YOU JUST NEED TO FOLLOW THE SUN! BUT RUN FOR HIS LIFE, WHEN THE SUN APPEARS NO MORE HARRISON WILL BE ALIVE!" And so everybody followed the sun, 'till a hotel in the middle of the Central Park. And, where is he, anyway? The-Man will kil him... ( continue )

"Look, you all. Let's make a human pyramid."said Corgan to the crod. And the pyramid they did... with John on the top of it.Thru the window he could see his mate tied at a chair, and Yoko-Blue-Meanie looking in the glass onion. "Ah, viper lady, how could I fall in love with you! You won't kill him...i won't let it..." ( THE STORY WILL GO ON! WAIT FOR NEW INFORMATION )

so them the WALRUS ame along and said, "John, Who do you think you are?" John then said " I am the Walrus (GOO GOO GOOO JOOOB)

In the base of the pyramid was Ringo, who scratched his nose and everything ruined. John fell from the window and hit the ground. "Eh, Ring,. you could kill me, you know? " "Too bad, too bad, too bad" said Ringo, still scratchin' his nose. The sun was coming into the horizon and Lucy in the Sky shouted: "SORROW, SORROW, SORROW! THEY ARE TAKING GEORGE AWAY, FOR HIM THERE WILL BE NO TOMORROW!"

"Oh, no, not again. Lucy in the Sky, take me back!" shouted Paul to the girl with kaleidoscope eyes. And with a close-and-open of her eyes all the crowd were in the top of the Madison Square Garden, from were The-Man-Who-Were-Tied-And-Cursed would throw George away. Lucy in the Sky, again in a rhyme, shouted to The-Man : "SAVE YOUR SOUL, LISTEN TO WHAT I SAY! LET HARRISON GO, YOU'LL WIN ANOTHER DAY! IF THIS MAN DIE, THE STORY HAS AN END! AND IF IT FINISHES, POOR OF YOU, YOU'LL DIE AFTER THEN! The-Man looked her with a laugh : "More cursed than i am is quite impossible to happen. Say goodbye to this world, George!"

And George fell, and fell, and fell and fell, and fell...

And he fell until the ground. But he did not die. Why? Because a hero never dies ( did The-Man know it? He should... ) And also because there was a man in the ground, with a ten bob note at the nose, and it helped Harrison. Poor of Mean Mr. Mustard, he became as thin as a paper sheet! "YOU SEE, EVIL, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? HEROES NEVER DIES, THAT'S WHY I AM NOT GONE! YOU WILL PAY THE PRICE OF TAKE GEORGE'S LIFE FOR GRANT: EVERYTIME YOU LOOK AROUND YOU WILL SEE MY FACE!" shouted Lucy in the Sky, with a laugh . And suddenly, The Man disapeared. Only the ashes of Red Rose Speedway were there to proof that something happpened there. "George, man, are you OK? "shouted John to the friend on the ground. "i am quite alringht. Let's get back to London, I can't tak this story anymore." And to London they went, to their wifes, dog and songs...

But danger was far from over. Suddenly, a band of tyrates from the Middle East began chasing poor Ringo because he was wearing the sacrificial underwear send to him in a fan mail. (Hmm...I wouldn't mind seeing Ringo in underwear). Anyway, the boys seeked refuge in the Bahamas.

One day they were hanging out at Pauls, working on a new song when George said, "Wait a minute. If heroes never die, imagine the things that we could do!" "Yeah! It's like we're immortal!" said John. "We could bungee jump without a cord!" said Ringo "Or, even better, we could...(continue)

" Go back to writing songs!!!!!!!! " Paul yelled. The others thought that was an excellent idea and they all went back to the studio, to work on thier next album intitled

entitled, "Red Rose Speedway" cos Paul is cool like that....And just for you peeps that are writing about me, Red Rose Speedway is a she..My name is Erin......If yer gonna write about me, call me "her" because I'm female..Tanks.... *G*

But John, who was eating some marshmellows, thought the "Red Rose Speedaway" was a name that should never be used to name anything. So, he sat down and thought. He thought and he thought and he thought. But the lighbulb above his head just wasn't on (those Energizer batterties do run out after all!) Just then, Ringo walked in with a can of Spam. He took it out of it's can, and if fell onto the table, which has suddenly appeared because I am the author, and I say there is a table. It jiggled. John stopped trying to use his temporarily burnt out lightbub, and went to see what this jiggling mass of meat-like substance was on the table. He poked it. "Hey! don't do that!" The Spam could talk. "Why not?" asked John, "You're on my table." Yes, it was John's table because I gave it to him. "It's not nice to poke processed meat", replied the Spam. All this time, Paul had been staring at the Spam. It lookes strangly familiar. He studied it carefully, but didn't know where he had seen it before. Then it came to him. This particular Spam looked very much like Linda. "LINDA!" Paul blurted out, as he grabbed the Spam, and cradled it in his arms. "What on earth are you being Spam for?" "It's a protest against the cruelty to processed meats", Linda explained, "Everyone is always worrying about the poor cows, or baby lambs, but do they ever stop and think about things such as Spam or Slim Jims? No!" Just then, the lightbulb had come back on in John's head, and he sat down to write a song. He called it "My friend is married to a peice of Spam". Unfortunatly, it never did make the final cut of their album, and remains unheard.

"Turn off this dammed lightbub, John!", George shouted from the other room , "I want to sleep!" Paul was still thinking of what Lucy in The Sky said...Heros never die... "But, if the heros never die, what happens to the evil? "asked him to john ( who was searching for a new lightbulb) and Ringo ( who were almost asleep ). "none idea", said John, looking in the shelfs "I think they do not die, too". and suddnely he stopped, and his face were white. " Bloody hell! if they are also imortal, for what the hell we are imortal too?" Suddnely Ringo stucked in the middle of the room. "HELP ME, HELP ME IF YOU WILL! I GAVE YOU IMMORTALITY, BUT NOW YOU HAVE TO HELP ME WITH MY SIN! THERE IS SOMEONE WHO WANTS TO DESTROY ABBEY ROAD AND EVERYTHING IT MEANS! GO THERE AND SAVE ME FROM BECOME A LOT OF TEARS!" he said and he fell down. "Gee, I never thought Ringo had such a soprano's voice", said Paul laughing. "it was no soprano voice, idiot! It was Lucy in the Sky speaking thru him." "Speak thru... a wonderful idea to a song" and he almost sat near the piano, if were not John take him away. who were the crazy one who want to destroy Abbey Road? A new problem to the lads (CONTINUE!)

They went, carrying poor Ringo yet turned off. And George stayed at Paul's sleeping after his adventure at Madison Square Garden. But Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds could not let that only 3/4 of the band were at the adventure, so she called George in a dream, with a shouted voice: "WAKE UP, HARRISON, YOU GOT TO GET UP! ABBEY ROAD IS BURNING, YOU HAVE TO HELP ME SAVE YOUR OWN SONG! JOHN, RINGO AND PAUL ARE ALREADY ON THEIR WAY, AND IF YOU DON'T WAKE UP YOU WON'T SEE THE LIGHT OF DAY!"And George woke up, scared, and run dressed in pajamas to Abbey Road. ( CONTINUE! )


The Fabs all arrived at Abbey Road to see it engulfed in flames. George stared in disbelief, Ringo was quite perplexed, John shook his head and couldn't fathom why it was on fire, and Paul was extremely upset. Suddenly, Polythene Pam appeared and taking pity on her friends, called Michelle, Anna, Mary Jane, Rita, Julia, Girl, Honey Pie, and even Maxwell with his silver hammer and they all worked together to put out the flames. The girl with the Kaleidoscope Eyes took the lads to safety and calmed Paul down. Soon, the blaze was out.

yeah, but it was then that I Mrs. Liam Gally walked in just as Paul was thrust into the future to find that Wacko Jacko had bought some of his songs and he went mad jumping up and hitting George over the head with his Doc Martin.

John and Ringo quickley stopped the fight and the Fab Four all sat down in green nylon chairs to ponder what to do next.

"What are we going to do, now? "Paul started to cry again. The girl with Kaleidoscope Eyes could not make him calm. "Listen, listen you all!" shouted John "there's something in the ashes!" And a voice of soprano came from the ashes... ( CONTINUE! )

"THE LOVE YOU TAKE IS EQUAL TO THE LOVE YOU MAKE"said the voice in the ashes. And the four Beatles come close to what supposed to be Abbey Road Studios, wondering who'd sing such a sad song to consolate they. ( CONTINUE!! )

Suddenly Nicole (George's wife) came out of the flames. "cool effects, huh? " she said and George kissed her. Meanwhile everyone was so Jealous of her that they accidentally injured george! CONTINUE!

"Ouch! bloody hell, the dammed writer of this story does not leave me in peace! First I am throwed away from a theater, and now I am all burned. some healing would be perfect, you see!" shouted George. But it was not Nicole who was singing... in fact she was speaking with a damming duck voice! 'i fit is not her, who is, anyway?" asked John, looking again to the ashes....( Continue! )

out of the ashes came a small, black, furry little puppy. they checked his name tag and it said "JB kumquat". "What kind of a name is that???" they inquired to no one in particular. JB kumquat sat down and began to cry little doggy tears. "i just wanted to help," he sobbed. "and you make fun of my name!!" he proceeded to climb up to the top branch of a tree and promptly fall again. This shamed him further and he settled into a miserable little heap on the ground. everyone exchanged a strange look and paused. "what the hell was that" said yoko-blue-Meanie, rather stupidly. (continue)

Lucy in the Sky got the dog and went away. "I'll take care of you, sweet thing of mine. I never had a pet before..." And she left they. Yoko-Blue-Meanine looked to they all. There was something on her that was not quite right. And Lucy in the Skyy said to the dog:"SHAME, SHAME, SHAME! POOR OF MY BEATLES, THEY'LL NEVER BE THE SAME! THEYE NEVER KNOW THAT MICHAEL DISCOVERED THE TRUTH, HE BURNED OUT THE STUDIO AND THE MUSIC NEVER WILL RETURN!" . Paul listened to that and started to cry. (CONTINUE )

"Jesus, Paul!" said John "Will you ever stop crying? That's all you ever do!" But this just made him cry even more...

"It's all right, Paul. You needn't cry," said George. Then John got an idea. He decided to cheer him up with a song. "If I fell in love with you would you promise to be true and help me, understand?" But Paul cried again because he'd just broken up with his girlfriend. What to do now? Then Mary walked up and gave Paul a HUGE kiss. Tounge and all!! This DID cheer Paul up! "Hurrah!" said John, George and Ringo. "Paul's happy again!" And the next day, Mary and Paul got married!

(Jude's little footnote: y'all what's your deal? The Beatles have been through at least 50 damn marraiges in this story, you're making Paul and John look like male sluts! Now cut it out please. Just have them marry the rightful wives.)

( I quite agree with the person above, this story is getting complicated also less and less like the Beatles, just a group of 4 guys marrying all these people, not like the real fun-loving, happy Beatles. Get a life!!!!!!!!! )

Blender stormed into the room and addressed no one in particular with great seriousness. "WILL SOMEONE PLEASE USE ME IN THE STORY???!!!?!!!!!?!!?? I am feeling VERY unloved right now, all you big snot cheeseballs!" With that, he left. John rubbed his left eye, wiggled his pinkie toe inside his boot and yawned.

Blender then went to the U.S. where he would be loved and the Beatles regretted ever letting him leave because

Cynthia is the biggest dork \k][

The writer of the story decied to erase the part of Mary and Paul, and let Abbey Road ( and Paul ) in the way it was. Where were we? oh yes, Michael lit fire on the studio, and everybody ran to see. OK, starting from the point that was really Michael who did such a nasty thing...

TALKING ABOUT MICHAEL, WHERE IS HE, NOW? Surprise, surprise: he was there, behind a tree, laughing of what he done. He did not dicover that someone was behind him, just mad to hang him! (CONTINUE... )

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Last updated on May 14, 1998